Saturday, July 18, 2009

Not The Philadelphia Story

I'm 48. That's a really weird thing to say. Ask anyone who's 48 and they'll probably say, "I'm forty-eight? God, that's weird." My daughter, an only child, goes to college this fall. Then my partner, Stan, and I will move from L.A., where I've lived almost my whole life, to New York.

I feel like I'm at this odd midway point, but I don't know how to assess what I'm seeing behind me or in front of me. I wanted to call this blog Halfway There, which felt both optimistic and fatalistic at the same time. Like my life is half over—or it's only half over. See? Hopeful! The name was taken, but that halfway-transitional-where-am-I sense is probably what will drive the posts on this blog. (And can I just mention in passing how odd and egotistical it feels to be writing a BLOG? For pete's sake, who cares? Discuss.)

So, why Katharine Hepburn? Because she's the anti-me. As a teenager, I worshiped what I saw as her independence, her willfulness, her seeming lack of care for what anyone thought or expected of her. She frolicked nude in a fountain at Bryn Mawr. This was all very not me. But I wished it were. (We're leaving aside here her slavish, self-denying devotion to Spencer Tracy; nevermind that.) She was the role model I
measured myself against but never lived up to. But maybe I still can. I'm only 48.

4 comments:

tina cockburn said...

Welcome to blogdom! I'm so glad you and your ego are here. =)

Betty Medsger said...

Congratulations, Susan. Lovely beginning to your blog. I look forward to your future postings.
Love,
Betty

Liberty London Girl said...

Good luck to you! And thank you for all your Tweets! LLGxx

ps you shld send a copy of your book to The Pioneer Woman, if of course you haven't already. It's just the kind of thing she likes.

Anonymous said...

I love how you've come back to your own dreams at 48. In year 48 of my life, my daughter graduated from college and I sold or gave away everything that couldn't fit into a 200 cubic feet shipping container and moved to Cornwall to marry my English online love.

My life now is one I'd only dreamed of before and never in such rich detail even though I always dream in color. :)

I look forward to reading more about your transition in NYC.